Apoi te gandesti... se merita? 

Cam da, oricum dorm intr-o singura camera iar celelalte doua sunt libere, moreover, asa tin tot timpul casa curata. Desi cred ca mi-ar placea sa stau o luna intreaga singura,

iti vine sa crezi ca de 4 ani stau singura si in realitate nu am stat singura niciodata?

Acum i-am zis lui L. sa se mute aici, imi cam pare rau, this will end badly,

or it will end with me having a family and baby and stuff, it will end with me finally being part of this society, although I really doubt I will ever be just one more, I have always been an outsider even of the minorities I have always found myself being part of. 

I sometimes feel my only flaw is being fat, I am not tall, but I do have a pretty face, round boobs and intriguing personality, that makes many of the guys want to cover my mouth and fuck me into silence, that is kinda’ the effect I have on them. 

Then I remember I am a bipolar and have a sad soul and I don’t feel that perfect anymore. 

Anyways, 

L-am invitat pe L. aici.

Poate pentru ca deep down vreau sa fac parte din societate, sa stau la casa mea, sa fac cina, sa am vreo doi copii, sa imi curga balele cand ii vad cum dau descontrolat din picioruse si strang din pumni cand se uita la cate o jucarie ce pare ca zboara... it’s like watching an adult being on drugs, really. 

E interesant cum se formeaza legaturile cerebrale si cum de la o anumita varsta vrem ca copiii sa fie logici ca noi. 

Si da, mi-e oarecum frica sa nu fie asta ultima mea sansa sa fiu “normala”,

asa ca l-am gasit pe L., destul de compatibil, nu sforaie, nu ii pute gura, ma imbrariseaza, ii e frica sa ma piarda si are 1,80 in inaltime, nice dick, reaches the G spot just fine, and lets be breathe. What else can I ask for? Soulmate? I kind of doubt that even exists,

every guy has been “the perfect one” until they climaxed, but only a few stick around, and of the ones that did stick around, this one has dark humor, lets me boss him around a little bit, fights back just enough for me to respect him and I am not at all ashamed of me being seen with him in public, actually, I am kind of proud. May I assume this is love?! I will make sure to say all of the above at my non religious wedding. I am such a cunt. 

Whatever

S-a mutat, si acum e la mine in dormitor, si e concentrat in chestii ce pe mine nu ma intereseaza, asa ca m-am refugiat in camera in care el si-a lasat hainele si toate catrafusele. El imi ia dormitorul, eu ii iau patul din camera mea/lui, imi plateste chirie, I am not sure who is winning, though. 

Prin camera asta s-au mutat o gramada de persoane, si e mai mult camera lor decat a mea, nu tin minte sa fi dormit niciodata aici, desi e casa mea. 

Imi vine in minte conversatia intre Sher si maica-sa (nu stiu daca e de adevaratelea sau doar o campanie de PR) dar zice ca maica-sa i-a zis intr-o zi: “darling, you need to find a rich man, iar ea i-a raspuns “mom, I AM a rich man”

What a time to be alive. 

This post entry has no conclusions. 

The cat just came where I am and jumped on the bed and got confortable by my legs, I think he doesn’t like L. very much.

Bye.